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EAST NILE VIRUS DESPONDENT OVER SIBLING’S SUCCESS
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CAIRO – Hidden among the dusty slums of Egypt’s capital, the once revered East Nile virus wastes away in a cardboard hut, abandoned and forgotten. A shut-in, the disease now struggles to muster the desire to infect anyone.
“We were the most popular act in all of Africa,” sniffles East Nile while dabbing tears from his eyes. “We traveled everywhere. It was the Nile Brothers: major venues, groupies, the whole works. The World Health Organization signed us to a lifetime contract and any woman we wanted, we got.”
“They were as big as the flu!” adds Smallpox, another disease down on its luck. Although rumored to be planning a comeback, he spends this afternoon drinking himself into oblivion in the squalor of East Nile’s hut.
“Those were such good times,” East Nile remembers as he finishes the last of the hard liquor and reaches for a bottle of aftershave. “Back before West went solo.”
“Just like the Jackson 5 before Michael left and Tito had to fend for himself,” taunts Smallpox who is well into a bottle of rubbing alcohol and showing signs of being a very nasty drunk.
“I’m better than Tito,” East Nile sputters before launching into another round of sobbing.
“Anyway,” Smallpox continues, clearly enjoying the role of torturing East Nile. “West decides they need to go global. He’s tried of seeing upstart African groups like AIDS and Ebola sign major deals with the Center for Disease Control while he and East are pigeon-holed as ‘regional maladies.’ It came down to the vision thing. West seized the opportunity and now he’s the CDC’s number one act.”
“I’m so depressed,” wails East Nile. “It’s sapped all my energy. My head hurts and I think I might even have a fever.”
“Poor baby,” Smallpox cackles while breaking the seal on a new bottle of NyQuil, “sounds like you may have the West Nile Virus.”
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