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TRICK-OR-TREATER SUBJECTED TO CAVITY SEARCH
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OMAHA, NE – In a disturbing story from the war on terror, the Associated Press has learned a ten year-old elementary student, Joshua Goldberg, was detained last year for several days as an enemy combatant and subjected to a body cavity search by Justice Department officials after an elderly neighbor said she suspected he was an Islamic terrorist.
“I didn’t give him any candy either,” the woman said, saying she also told investigators she was the only person on her street that refused. “I don’t make donations to terrorists.”
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Justice Department evidence photo of Joshua’s little plastic sword
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Attorney General John Ashcroft defended his decision to detain Joshua. “When we responded to the tip, we found the boy several blocks from his home wearing a tiny blue turban and carrying a little plastic sword. Tell me that’s not probable cause, not that I need probable cause anyway.”
“Even before he did the cavity search, Ashcroft just sat in the interrogation room eating Joshua’s Halloween candy piece by piece until
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Ashcroft declares Arabic-themed Halloween costumes illegal under the Patriot Act
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Joshua cried,” Joshua’s mother told reporters, “He told Joshua the Patriot Act required it.”
“I just don’t understand,” said Joshua, reached between therapy sessions. “My Mom bought me the ‘Alladin’ costume at Toys ‘R Us because I thought it was cool. But that was the worst Halloween ever.”
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