FBI FILES SHOW KERRY WAS JUST AS BORING THIRTY YEARS AGO
NEW YORK – As a spokesman for the group Vietnam Veterans Against the War in the early 70's, John Kerry caught the eye of then-FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, who ordered his operatives to listen in on Kerry's private conversations and track his every movement.

Newly declassified, Kerry's FBI file from this era paints a picture of a young man who should have been knee-deep in sex, drugs and rock n' roll, but who was already in the words of one FBI analyst "boring to the point of disbelief."

"He may look like a Kennedy and talk like a Kennedy," wrote one agent in reference to former White House Chief of Staff H.R. Halderman's observation. "But he most certainly does not party like a Kennedy."

"Why have you foresaken me, oh God?" lamented another agent in his last report to FBI headquarters.  "My classmates are dropping acid and scoring free love every night all in the name of infiltrating the Berkley counter-culture, yet here I am staking out a man who goes to bed early, sober and alone night after night without end."

"I think my ass is falling asleep here," the agent's report concludes, "I'd give anything to be undercover at one of George Bush's parties right now."

"We assigned agents to cover Kerry strictly as punishment," recalled John Dutton, one of Edgar Hoover's personal assistants and pedicurists.  "If an agent fell behind at the Academy, screwed up in the field, or questioned one of Hoover's dress choices, he was doing around the clock surveillance on Kerry before he knew what hit him."

While the Kerry campaign had no official comment on the FBI files story, Kerry was overheard remarking near an open microphone that Hoover's FBI was "the most crooked, lying bunch" he had ever seen "at least until the Bush Administration."
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