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FCC CHIEF TO PERSONALLY HANDLE JACKSON’S BREAST ISSUE
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HOUSTON – After Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl halftime stunt where singer Justin Timberlake ripped off part of her costume to expose her breast on nationwide television, Federal Communications Commission (FCC) chief Michael Powell said Jackson’s conduct was “deplorable” and promised to “personally handle” the FCC’s investigation of the incident.
“I’ve reviewed each frame of that video,” Powell told reporters, “and, if that was her real breast, which I intend to find out, I am convinced that she broke the law in baring her breast to the nation without running it by me first.”
Issuing a statement that it “deeply regrets the incident,” and hoping to avoid a large FCC fine, CBS said it “had no idea the halftime show would include such a display.” Privately, CBS officials explained that they would never have approved the halftime show if they had known only one of Jackson’s breasts would be exposed.
The NFL likewise “condemned the action,” wink, wink, according to league officials, who noted that they were just glad no NFL players were arrested during the halftime intermission period.
For their part, Jackson and Timberlake both issued statements blaming a “wardrobe malfunction” for the incident, with Timberlake’s publicist saying that, had the malfunction not occurred, Janet’s entire costume would have torn away and Britney Spears would have jumped on the stage to continue the “performance” with Jackson in her traditional MTV style.
Meanwhile, a spokesman for the Jackson family said the incident proves once and for all that Janet and Michael Jackson are separate people, not one Jackson sibling masquerading as both. The spokesman admitted, however, that Janet Jackson’s apparent desire to be touched by young boys like Timberlake did not bode well for her brother’s defense against charges that he too has a predilection for young boys, albeit much younger than those preferred by his sister.
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